This past weekend I co-taught an AMAZING workshop with Tracey Silverman and Ashley Cheng at CastleHill Fitness in Austin, Texas. We called it "Dance With Your Darkness" and we held it on November 2nd, "El Dia de los Muertos", as celebrated in Mexico and in other cultures around the world.
My main part in the workshop was to lead the guided death meditation as written by Ana T. Forrest in her book "Fierce Medicine".
Backstory: In October 2012, I was guided by Ana through this meditation at my 27 day long teacher training in Chicago, IL. I remember how it transformed me. How much more grateful I was for my life; past and present. My nine lives, I like to call it. All of the stupid shit I did to myself and to others. All of the horrific thoughts that kept me in a cage. All of the drugs I did to ease the pain. All of the relationships that I let literally kill off parts of me-my Spirit had become a dry withering away 103 lb. skeleton. (not a good weight for me/eating disordered!)
So you see, this meditation was serious work! By the time I had gotten to teacher training, I was already free of most of the toxicity of my past, but there were still lil' shards that needed to be excavated from my cell tissue/brain stem so that I could feel truly liberated. There were tears and rage, and running away during this experience of being guided through my last 12 hours on Earth. And ultimately, the death meditation helped me get to a place where I became the Witness of my Life again, where I merged with this beautiful life giving Universal Source and came back to "reality" ready to let go of all of the shit that was dead inside of me. I also became DEEPLY AWARE of the LOVE that I had been blessed with from my beloved, Garrett and baby girl, Gwenny. (and all of the rest of our family) Now...I could be a better mother and lover and a teacher. The death meditation was almost like a baptism, where you get dunked into some holy water and are free'd of all of your sins. Yeah, it was just like that!!
So basically, I am writing this to share that leading 25+ people through their last 12 hours on Earth this weekend was almost as intense for me as giving birth to my daughter without meds in a tub full of water after laboring for 22 hours.
Both experiences were timeless, really. In both instances, I truly believe I was channeling some archetypal Life & Death force. In both experiences, I remember roaring like a lioness to get her across to you--Gwenny first & this time Kali-the Goddess of Time (often associated with Death) But, it wasn't really me. Do you get what I am saying? I was just the messenger and honored to be the life bringer during this workshop along with my sisters, Tracey & Ashley. We hope the beings who were called to our workshop left feeling more space in their bodies (especially their hips!! ;) & heart to live the life they most deeply desire, once and for all!
I'll end with this: We must do everything we can to live the lives we most deeply desire. We can not wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow may never come! WE MUST LIVE & LOVE TODAY!